


Never Take Advice from your Brother’s Dating Manuel

by MapleMeSyrup



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Fluff, Gift Fic, Highschool AU, M/M, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Undertale Sans, kustard - Freeform, undertale papyrus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 15:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapleMeSyrup/pseuds/MapleMeSyrup
Summary: Red can’t stop staring at the cute skeleton across the cafeteria. Classic can’t stop daydreaming about the bad boy who lived down the street from him. Both believe that neither of them had a chance with the other. It’s going to take some intervention to get these lovesick idiots just to go out on a date.





	Never Take Advice from your Brother’s Dating Manuel

**Author's Note:**

> A gift for @beckyshecky because their Kustard art gives me life. Seriously I get so many feels from their art, and I don’t even ship Kustard that much, I just love it. 
> 
> Also, this is my entry for @bonelynomore‘s fanfiction contest! This wasn’t going to be my original fic that I was going to submit, but my original turned out to be a couple…thousand words over the word limit, so I scrapped this up, a week before the deadline. 
> 
> Beta read by: @letshexforlove, @sesrins-symphony, @dtk-imagines, @crappyartforyou. Thank you for taking a look guys!

“YOU’RE STARING!”

“w-what? no i’m not!” Red’s eyelights flicker to the other skeleton across the cafeteria, who is too absorbed in his homework to notice anything, thankfully, “and keep it down, will ya?”

“WHY?! DO YOU NOT WANT THE ENTIRE WORLD-” Edge raises his voice louder into a shout, but before he could finish, Red leaps over the table, knocking over several trays of food and spilling the chocolate milk in the process. He covers his brother’s annoying mouth and pushes him to the ground, “WHAT THE HELL RED?!”

The students around them glare at the two monsters on the floor, then return to their lunchtime activities, rolling their eyes at the brothers. Red glances at the cute skeleton across the room, and sighs in relief. He is still oblivious.

“keep it down or i’m never gonna pick up that sock on the floor.”

“YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO PICK IT UP ANYWAY!”

Red silently pleads with his eyelights and Edge rolls his eyes, nodding in agreement. The short skeleton climbs off of his brother and helps him up. Together, they pick up the trays and tidy up the mess, then return to their respective seats. The cafeteria drones on in senseless chatter, unaware of what just went down. Heh.  _Went down._  Red props his jaw up with his hand and mindlessly stirs his mushy mashed potatoes.

“Seriously though, you’ve been staring at the kid all semester. Just ask him out already,” Edge says, for the tenth time this week.

“i told you before, it doesn’t work like that,” Red mumbles, still stirring his food.

“What are you talking about? It’s simple! Just go up to him and ask if he wants to see a movie with you!”

Red remains unresponsive, burying himself into his jacket and blushing slightly.

“UGH. MUST I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU?!” before Red could stop him, Edge stands up and makes his way across the cafeteria towards the other skeleton.

“hey, bro, wait, what are you… fuck stop stop stop!!”

“YOU!” Edge pounds his fist on the table, startling the other monster.

“Yes?” he tilts his head in confusion.

Red is going to die.

“YOU SEE MY BROTHER OVER THERE,” Edge points at Red, who’s blushing wildly and panicking. The other skeleton nods his head, “HE WANTS TO GO THE MOVIES WITH YOU ON FRIDAY. DO YOU ACCEPT?”

The skeleton glanced over at Red causing him to squeak and blush even harder, but he gave a lopsided smile and a small wave. Nice going, Red.

“okay,” the other skeleton blinks, still unsure of what else to say.

“GREAT! HE’LL PICK YOU UP AT YOUR HOUSE AT 7! GOOD DAY!”

The other skeleton’s eye lights train on Red, so he turns around, throws his hood up, and runs out of the cafeteria.

 

* * *

Classic sighs heavily into his quantum physics book, dreaming about wrapping his arms around Red’s thick back on a motorcycle, the feel of leather under his fingertips as the winds fly past his face. He giggles quietly to himself as he imagines Red looking back at him to make sure he’s okay, his red eye lights glistening with his handsome smirk, gold tooth flashing in the sun. Sans’s cheeks heat up in a blue tone as his soul leaps in his chest.

A loud bang pulls him out of his daydream, but he doesn’t bother looking up. Instead, he returns to his fantasy, absorbed in the soul stopping eyes behind the sunglasses.Suddenly, a fist pounds on his table, startling him back to reality, his soul thundering in his chest. He looks up and notices a familiar monster, a tall skeleton with razor sharp teeth and blood-red makeup lined underneath his eyes. Classic recognizes him as Papyrus’s martial arts rival and Red’s younger brother. They’ve never really talked, so he tilts his head, confused as to why he would approach him like this.

“YOU SEE MY BROTHER OVER THERE,” Edge points over at Red, who looks like a deer caught in the headlights, “HE WANTS TO GO TO THE MOVIES WITH YOU ON FRIDAY. DO YOU ACCEPT?”

This was a prank right? There’s no way Edge can be serious. Why would Red want to go on a date with him? He has to say no. He can’t. He has a test he needs to study for, which he’d rather do instead of go on a date with a super hot hunk-

“okay,”  

“GREAT! HE’LL PICK YOU UP FROM YOUR HOUSE AT 7! GOOD DAY!”

Classic glances at Red, still bewildered that he wanted to go on a date with him. The other skeleton scowls, throws his hood up, and exits the cafeteria.

Classic’s heart sinks.

 

* * *

The week flies by without incident. And that was it. Without incident. Classic sees Red in the halls, and since his brother asked him out for him, he figures that he should at least say something. But every time he approached him or waved hello, Red turned in another direction.

Thursday night comes by and Sans trembles with his cellphone in his hand. His finger hovers over the text icon on Red’s profile, the green light indicating that he’s online. Okay. He can do this. It’s just one text. Steadying his breathing, Classic opens up the messenger and types:

 **Classic:** why did the skeleton dance alone at the party?  
**Classic:** because he had no _body_ to go with!

Classic chuckles at his own pun, leans back in his chair, and waits for the reply.

 

* * *

Red’s phone dings and he automatically reaches for it, swiping the screen open and seeing a pop-up notification from Classic. His heart races as his thumb hovers over the chat bubble, the endless and probable possibilities racing through his mind. Did Classic want to cancel the date? Did he never want to go in the first place and just said yes to be polite? Was he going to ask Red to bring candy? Red doesn’t have candy!

Alright, get a hold of yourself Red, you can do this.  

He taps on the chat bubble and reads the message, laughing out loud at Classic’s joke. Red never knew that he had a sense of humor, and knowing that Classic does, warms his soul with fluttering fire as his grin stretches even wider. He taps on the text box to reply, when all of a sudden, Edge bursts into his room, screaming at him to help him with dinner. Red rolls his eyes, tosses his phone onto the bed, and follows his brother to the kitchen. The louder skeleton hands him a wooden spoon and orders him to stir the tomato sauce so it doesn’t burn while he chops up the mushrooms.  

“SO HAVE YOU PICKED OUT A RESTAURANT AND A MOVIE FOR FRIDAY?! HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE SAVED UP?! WHAT ABOUT AN OUTFIT?”

“dude what are you talking about?”

“THE DATE! THAT YOU HAVE WITH THAT PAPAYA’S BROTHER! HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN? OH DEAR ASGORE PLEASE DON’T TELL  ME YOU FORGOT”

“of course i haven’t forgotten. but dinner? money? outfit? i thought we were just gonna see a movie”

“DON’T BE AN  _IDIOT_ , RED! OF COURSE YOU NEED TO TAKE HIM TO DINNER AND WEAR SOMETHING NICE! IT’S A DATE, YOU FOOL! AND SINCE YOU’RE THE ONE THAT ASKED HIM OUT YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING!”

“technically, you’re the one-”

Edge shoots him a death glare and throws his hands up into the air.

“fine. fine. i’ll scrap up whatever money i have and look for places to eat. i’ll get us tickets to see that sci-fi movie-”  

A sharp  _CLANK_  echos through the kitchen as Edge drops his knife in shock and horror.

“NO! ARE YOU  _TRYING_  TO MAKE THIS THE WORST DATE OF ALL DATES? ACCORDING TO MY DATING MANUAL, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE HIM TO SEE A ROMANTIC MOVIE! NOT SOME STUPID FILM ABOUT SPACE AND GUNS!”

“but i don’t like-”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU LIKE, DO YOU WANT THIS BOY TO LIKE YOU OR NOT?!”

“…i do,”

“THEN JUST DO EVERYTHING I SAY AND NOTHING WILL GO WRONG! NYAHAHA!”

Red sighs and continues stirring the sauce. He might not like what his brother plans, but if it makes Classic happy, he’ll do it.

 

* * *

Classic stares at his phone, anxiously waiting for Red’s reply. The screen shows the “read at” receipt, yet no typing bubbles. Sighing, the skeleton tosses his phone on the ground and flops on his filthy bed, A few seconds later, he sits up again, grabs his phone, and checks for any new messages. Still nothing.

It’s alright. Maybe he’s busy or something, or got caught up in something else. It doesn’t mean that Red is ignoring him or anything like that, despite the obvious signs.

…

Maybe Classic should distract himself. He unzips his backpack, slides into his desk, and voluntarily does homework for the first time in his life.

Friday rolls around and Red is still avoiding Sans. He also hasn’t replied to Classic’s messages. At this point, he’s convinced that this whole thing was just a prank to mess with him, and that he’s only kidding himself in thinking that Red would actually go out with him. He should’ve known better than to get his hopes up. Slamming his locker in frustration and earning dirty glares from the students nearby, he walks off to his next class, definitely not thinking about strangling a certain attractive skeleton monster.

When he gets home, Classic throws off his socks, tosses his bag, discards his shirt and flops onto the couch, stretching his short limbs. He glances over at his phone, and sighs, checking it one last time for any new messages, yet still none. He didn’t know what he was hoping for to be honest. He flips on the tv and dozes off into a nap.

“CLASSIC!”

The short skeleton cracks one eye open, and rubs the sleep out of his eye socket.

“yeah bro?”

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?!”

“uhh,” he checks his phone, “6:45?”

“EXACTLY! SO WHY AREN’T YOU EVEN DRESSED YET?!!!!!”

“dressed for what?”

“DON’T PLAY GAMES WITH ME, BROTHER. YOU KNOW EXACTLY FOR WHAT! YOU’VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT RED FOR AGES AND YOU CAN’T EVEN GET YOURSELF DRESSED FOR A DATE???”

Classic sinks further into the couch, pulling blanket over him for comfort. He doesn’t meet his brother’s eyes, “that was…that was a mistake. there is no date, it was just a joke all along,”

“WHAT?!” Papaya takes a seat next to his brother and rubs his legs, a habit that he’s been doing to soothe the elder brother since they were kids, “DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?”

“no, nothing happened,” Classic shrugs, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice, “he avoided me all week, and didn’t even respond to my message. don’t worry about it, paps. i think i’m just gonna head to bed early.”

“NO YOU ARE NOT!” the other skeleton’s eye sockets blaze slightly, “I’M SURE THERE’S BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING, LET ME JUST, I UH, I’M GOING TO  MAKE A PHONE CALL!”

Classic raises a bone brow as his brother leaps into the air, and sprints off into his room, slamming the door behind him. He could hear his brother’s loud voice, but couldn’t make out the words, and a few moments later Papaya exits his bedroom and runs into Classic’s. Alarmed, Classic immediately rushes to his room, finding his brother tossing clothes from his closet.

“bro what are you doing?!

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM BEING A GOOD BROTHER AND HELPING YOU GET DRESSED! YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING GOOD IN HERE EXCEPT WHITE SHIRTS AND BLUE JACKETS!  _A FASHION ABOMINATION!_ ”

Classic sighs, and rubs his temples, “paps, i appreciate it, but i told you. there isn’t going to be a date. there’s no point.”

“AND WHAT IF YOU’RE WRONG? WHAT IF RED KNOCKS ON OUR DOOR IN TEN MINUTES AND YOU’RE NOT DRESSED? ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM THAT YOU DOUBTED HIM? HOW DO YOU THINK HE’S GOING TO FEEL?”

Classic doesn’t answer.

“I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU’RE HURT BROTHER, BUT GIVE HIM ONE LAST CHANCE! AND IF YOU’RE RIGHT, YOU CAN CHANGE BACK INTO YOUR UNDERWEAR, AND I’LL PUT ON A MOVIE FOR US TO WATCH TOGETHER TONIGHT INSTEAD!”

“heh…can’t argue with that bro. you’re so smart.”  

“NYEHEHE! OF COURSE I AM! NOW, PUT THIS ON! YOU’RE GOING TO LOOK AMAZING!”

 

* * *

Red tugs on his collar, sweat beating down his skull and staining his white button up shirt. His black slacks make him feel extremely stiff and the tie wrapped around his neck chokes him and it’s hard to breathe, but if Edge says that Classic will like this for whatever reason, then Red will bear through it. Gathering all of his courage, he coughs, then knocks on the door.

Papaya answers a second later, his eyes lighting up with glee.

“BROTHER!!! RED IS HERE!” he turns to Red, “TAKE CARE OF HIM OKAY? AND MAKE SURE THAT HE DOESN’T FALL ASLEEP DURING THE MOVIE!”

“uhh…okay?”

Classic appears at the door a minute later, his hands held behind his back, his gaze lowered, as a blue blush spreads across his face. Red’s eyes widen, his own face heating up, and his soul pounding in his chest. He definitely was not prepared for how cute Classic looks. A faded yellow turtleneck sweater hugs his body with his regular blue jacket wrapped around his waist and he sports a short pink skirt that flares out almost like a tutu.

Red is left speechless like an idiot, mouth agape and floundering for words to say.

“you actually came.”

Red gets knocked back to his senses, and tilts his head in slight confusion, “of course i came, why wouldn’t i?”

Classic’s eye lights flash with something that Red couldn’t recognize, but he brushes it off. Extending his hand, he remembers what Edge told him to say and forces it through his mouth.

“a-are you ready to go,  _m’lord_?” Red extends his elbow out for Classic to wrap around.

The other skeleton visibly cringes and Red mentally hits himself for delivering it so badly, but Classic regains his composure, gives him a nervous smile, and takes his arm. Red leads him to Edge’s car that he borrowed ( “IT’S NOT GENTLEMEN-LIKE TO PICK SOMEONE UP ON A MOTORCYCLE!”) and speeds off to the restaurant that Edge also recommended.  An awkward silence passes between the two of them during the car ride, neither of them saying anything. Classic stares out the window at the passing cars and houses, making it difficult for Red to read his expression, so he decides to try and make small talk.

“so…nice weather we’re having…”

“huh? yeah i guess so. it’s nice and cool.”

“yeah…”

Nothing else was said during the rest of the ride. Red pulls up to a fancy looking diner with water fountains springing from the entrance and a valet parks the car for them. Classic’s eyes widen from the golden grandeur and he starts to back away slowly.

“hey, class, what’s wrong?”

“no, i, i can’t afford this place red, it’s too expensive, can we go somewhere else?”

Edge’s advice echoes in his mind, “ _WHATEVER HAPPENS, STICK TO THE PLAN!_ ”

“i know it looks expensive, but it’s not that bad! i’ve eaten here many times!” Red lies, “besides, you don’t have to worry, i’ll pay for everything.”

“i don’t know red, i can’t possibly make you pay-”

“hey i got this! i’m the one that asked you out, or technically my brother did it for me, so i’ll take care of it!”

Classic flinches at the tone, his eyelights not meeting Red’s. He keeps his head down, but gives a small nod anyway. The two of them enter and are greeted by a snobbish waiter, who leads them to their seat and dismissively hands them their menus. Red’s eyes widen as he glances over the price and the food options, nearly having a heart attack. He doesn’t know what half of this shit is! And 80g for something called an aiguillette?! He sneaks a glance at Classic, who also seems to be having a tough time deciding. In the end, they both got the cheapest option, something called a “salade cesar” which they both should’ve known was just a salad. Red hates salad, and from the way Classic is picking at his food and forcing himself to eat, he does too.

Fuck fuck, this was not going as great as he thought. Classic looks miserable, and it’s his fault. He did that to him. He eyes Classic’s hand on the table and almost reaches out to touch him, comfort him, but Edge’s voice rings loudly in his head.

_“NO TOUCHING TIL THE SECOND DATE!”_

Red balls up his fists and asks for the check. They can fill up on popcorn.

The two of them arrived to the movie on time, but when Red tells Classic that he already bought the tickets for the romance movie, he wasn’t sure if he saw disappointment in his expression. He nervously brushes it off, hoping that the movie wasn’t going to be that bad.

Classic seems to relax a bit once the movie starts, much to Red’s relief. All he ever wanted was for him to have a good time, and he knows that he royally screwed it up. The movie begins to play, and already, Red is bored. His mind wanders, and something presses against his arm. He flinches, looking at the source. Classic blinks at the reaction, looking a bit hurt since he just wanted to rest his head, and shifts away from Red. Red mutters an apology, but it isn’t worth much. He spends the rest of the movie beating himself up and keeping his head down.

“red? red!”

Red snorts himself awake, completely alarmed by his unfamiliar surroundings and Classic’s face in front of him.

“wha?”

“the movie ended.”

Red’s mind clears up and he remembers that he’s on a date with his crush…and he fell asleep. on a date. with his crush. God he’s such an idiot.

“oh…”

Red’s face burns with embarrassment and he wordlessly leads Classic back to the car and drives him back home. He leads the other skeleton to the door but before Classic enters, he turns to Red.

“well this was….a date.”

“yeah, yeah it was.”

“i guess i’ll see you on monday then. maybe.”

“yeah. see you then.”

Red turns around and makes his way to Edge’s car, but stops, balling up his fists. No. He’s not going to let the night end like this. He’s not going to let his last chance slip.

“classic, wait!”

The other skeleton stops half way inside, tilting his head in curiousity as Red runs back up to him.

“look, this date was a disaster, i’m not going to lie.”

“ya think?” Classic mumbles under his breath.

“the thing is, i really like you, and i screwed up. i took my brother’s advice on everything, and now i see i shouldn’t have-”

“why did you ignore me all week?” Classic interrupts, his eyelights flashing with anger.

“i…i was just too nervous to talk to you. i have the biggest crush on you and when you said you’d go out with me tonight, i didn’t know how to react,” Red plays with the hem of his shirt, “so i just ran away. i didn’t stop to think about how you might’ve felt. i’m sorry.”

“and my messages?”

“messages?”

“you didn’t respond to them.” Classic crosses his arms sternly.

“the jokes? of course i did, i laughed and said…” Red’s eyes widen as he fishes his phone out of his pocket and checks his messages, realizing that he didn’t respond, “fuck! i saw them, but i forgot to reply. i’m so sorry.”

Classic just looks at him sadly. Red knows he’s disappointed and he can’t blame him.

“i’m sorry. about tonight, about everything. but i mean what i said though. i really like you, and if you can give me a second chance-”

Classic cuts him off by grabbing his sleeve and pressing a kiss against Red’s cheek. He blushes furiously as all functions in his brain shuts down, then reboots to process what just happened. Classic’s eyelights twinkle with amusement and he giggles at the shock on Red’s face.

“i’d like that red. and maybe this time,  _without_  your brother’s intervention?”

Unable to speak, Red just nods his head.

“good. i’ll see you monday. good night.”

Classic quietly shuts the door behind him.

A wide grin slowly stretches across Red’s face. His soul is pounding and leaping and shaking all at once, and he laughs to himself, unable to contain his happiness. As he walks to the car, Red pumps a fist of victory into the air.  


End file.
